So you’ve had your “cooling off period,” and you’ve done some reflection and a self-assessment. You’ve worked on you, and you’re in a happier place now, but you still want him back. The question then, becomes how to go about planting the seeds in his mind? How do you begin to make him start thinking about you as “relationship” material again, after some time apart? Below, you’ll find three of the most effective ways of getting your man back when you’re ready to take that step.
1. Be Casual, Go Slow
Men are creatures of habit. Yes, you’ll find the occasional exception, but for the most part, they don’t like surprises, and they don’t like sudden, unexpected changes. Keep that in mind when you’re implementing your plan to get him back. You need to ease him into the idea.
Best of all would be to make him think that getting back together was his idea all along. You don’t do that by using the end of your “cooling off period” as the firing of a starting gun at the beginning of a race, and immediately call him and want to spend the weekend together. That’s a spectacularly bad plan, and will almost always lead to disappointment.
Start with shared interests and things you have in common. This could be anything, like a simple, nonchalant text inviting him to that annual art festival you both enjoyed so much. Or having him over to watch the big game on Monday night. Whatever the two of your used to do and enjoy together, invite him over to do that. Just that. Nothing more. It’s your chance to show him the new improved you, and to remind him of all the great times the two of you had together in the past.
2. Send Him (occasional!) Little Reminders
One of the worst things you can do in terms of actually getting your man back is to “blow up his phone” with constant texts or phone calls. Having said that, there’s nothing wrong with using the occasional text to plant seeds of doubt and desire in his mind. A simple, “hey – just had lunch at (insert the name of a restaurant the two of you enjoyed together). Made me think of you and smile.
Leave it at that. Don’t text him again in ten minutes to “see if he got it,” and don’t follow up with a phone call. This strategy is also best employed when you can mention a deeper connection the two of you have, like, “it reminded me of that time we went there with your mother.” See, now you’ve brought his mom into the equation. She’s an important figure in his life, whether he likes to admit it or not, and you’re reminding him that you KNOW her. Even better, you’re reminding him that his mom knows you. That’s big. That’s huge.
Of course, this only works if you haven’t unfriended each other, but assuming you haven’t, then posting the occasional picture of you in the new outfit you bought, looking especially cute, or posting you out with your (female) friends having fun – those are all reminders that you’re a fun girl, and that he’s missing out. Believe me, if he hasn’t unfriended you, he’s checking. He’ll see.
That’s it. If you use those three methods in a light, casual way, you’ll go a long ways toward winning your man back.
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