So she broke up with you and you want her back. Good for you! It’s going to take some work on your part, and more than a little bit of self-reflection if you want to win her back. You’re going to need to take things slow. Give both you and her some space and time apart before you can even think about implementing whatever plan you have in mind to win her back, and you’ll need a plan.
In addition to needing a plan though, you’ll need more. You need to know what NOT to do as, and even before you start putting your plans in motion, because if you do any of the following while you’re apart, and as you’re trying to patch things up, you will sabotage your own plans and probably make things all but impossible for yourself.
This is the big one. Guys, face it. If you get back together with her, the first thing she’s going to ask you is some variation of “while we were apart, did you sleep with anyone else?” You want to be able to truthfully answer that question no, so don’t go there. And definitely don’t hook up with a mutual friend or with one of her besties. It’s just a nonstarter. It won’t make her jealous and feel the undying need to have you back. Instead, it’ll make her cut off all contact with you and reaffirm in her mind that she made the right call to break up with you in the first place. Just don’t do it. Ever. Not if your goal is to win her back.
Yeah, yeah, we get it. You want her back, and since you do, one of the worst things you can do is to put tons of pressure on her. That means not doing stuff like blowing up her phone with tons of calls or texts a day, pestering her on Facebook, asking for a date, forgiveness, or whatever, or even just relentlessly commenting on every post and photo she uploads.
Give her space and time. Give YOURSELF space and time. You need it, because first, you’ve got to answer the question “do you really, genuinely want her back?” with a clear head, and right after the breakup, you don’t have that. You also need time to work on you, and that brings us to the third point.
If she broke up with you, there was a reason. She probably told you straight up what that reason was. If you succeed in getting her back, but don’t bother to make any changes about the way you are when you’re with her, what do you think is going to happen?
Is it likely that those things she found annoying enough to break up with you in the first place going to just magically vanish, or are they going to be right there where they were the last time? Of course they’re still going to be there if you don’t’ make any effort to change them, and because of that, your new relationship won’t last very long, and will blow up in your face again for the exact same reason.
That’s a terrible idea. If you really want her back, then that has to start by taking personal responsibility for your part in the breakup. You need to think very carefully about the reasons she gave for the breakup, and see if those are things you can change within yourself, or even if you want to. If you don’t want to change anything about yourself, then clearly, she’s not as important to you as you thought she was. If you do want to make changes, then you need the time to form new habits, and make sure those new habits stick.
If you can avoid doing the above while you’re apart, then your chances of winning her back will shoot up significantly.
© Copyright The Ex Back Experts